Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Random Sequence: Don't Be 'Discomboborated'

"Good-morrow friend, how do you feel to-day."
"Pretty well; how are you?"
"Oh, sir, the intense frigidity of the circumambient atmosphere, combining with the porosity of the earth, and joined with the humidity of the climate has discomboborated my respiration and affected my theoreticks."
--from The Casket, Volume 1, 1826

circumambient = surrounding
discomboborated = confused, upset or frustrated
theoreticks(theoretics) = theories, ideas

Lately, my theoreticks are discomboborated by circumambient construction noises. Is that a power winch or a dying whale I hear?

Monday, July 28, 2014

Link Mania: The Top 10 Invented Words

Brought to you by my book's Facebook page. And now back to our regularly scheduled program of breathing.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

The T&T List: Zen Books that Never Were

Zen and the Art of Dishwashing
Zen and the Art of Coffee Drinking
Zen and the Art of Shoe Tying
Zen and the Art of Telephone Dialing
Zen and the Art of Stair Climbing
Zen and the Art of Tooth Brushing
Zen and the Art of Showering
Zen and the Art of Peeing
Zen and the Art of Shirt Buttoning
Zen and the Art of Floor Sweeping
Zen and the Art of Dusting
Zen and the Art of Vacuuming
Zen and the Art of Weeding
Zen and the Art of Lawn Mowing
Zen and the Art of Stamp Licking
Zen and the Art of Hair Combing
Zen and the Art of Recycling
Zen and the Art of Window Washing
Zen and the Art of Parallel Parking
Zen and the Art of Bill Paying
Zen and the Art of Pot Stirring
Zen and the Art of Nail Hammering
Zen and the Art of Email Checking
Zen and the Art of Door Locking
Zen and the Art of Pillow Fluffing
Zen and the Art of Cork Screwing
Zen and the Art of Can Opening
Zen and the Art of Water Boiling


"After enlightenment, the laundry." --Zen Proverb

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Word of the Day: octothorpe

What's "the word I'm thinking of"? Today, it's...

octothorpe [OCK-toe-thorp] (noun)

The name for a telephone keypad symbol, also called a pound or hashtag symbol.

"It was a slow day at the pet store, and as the birds screamed and the puppies squealed, Sebastian stared at the telephone keypad, hoping that Fatima would call. Pound symbol or octothorpe? Which was correct? In the end, did it matter?"
TWITO, page 100!

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Important Disclaimer

The information contained in this website is for mental fermentation purposes only. The associated bemusement and disorientation is provided by Twists and Turns, and while we endeavor to keep the information waggish and facetious, we make no representations or warranties of any kind, puckish or pokerfaced, about the surreality, inanity, inscrutability or dementia experienced with respect to the website, or the wonderment, randomness, provocation, or jocularity contained on the website, for any purpose. Any reliance you place on such skylarking is therefore strictly at your own risk.

In no event will we be liable for any smirking or guffawing, including, without limitation, indirect or consequential, any giddiness or inspiration toward tomfoolery, or any loss or damage whatsoever arising from mental confusion or beguilement arising out of, or in connection with, perusement of this amusement.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Photo of the Week: Carnival Time in Newark, NJ (by me)

Carnival time in Newark, NJ

Send in the clowns. (You will click the pic for a closer view. Resistance is futile.)

Monday, July 21, 2014

Link Mania: That Doesn't Mean What You Think It Means

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Quote of the Day: Wood

be seated
"There is an abundance of fish in the sea. But tonight, I would like to speak about wood. There are many times in the world when the phone rings and someone is inquiring about wood. This happens primarily at lumber yards and in this case, it’s necessary to have a phone. It is only natural that trees are growing and that they are made of wood. Much happiness can come from observing a tree and the same can be said about observing the many shapes fashioned out of wood. Quite often when when we are talking about beauty, we are talking about wood. Thank you very much!"
--David Lynch

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Random Sequence

"But how to get out of the present dilemma was a serious question. The idea of ending a forenoon that had been elysian in its delights by a row home with this bedlamite -- thus he termed her in his irritated musings -- facing him, and chattering like a score of magpies, in place of the dear and beauteous vision that had blessed his eyes, and the soft, musical accents that had wooed his hearing for hours past, was intolerable; yet there sat Miss Jemima, a stubborn fact, and one hard to rid himself of."
--from "Taking Boarders for Company" by Marion Harland, in Godey's Lady Book and Magazine, October 1864

(I found a bound copy of several issues of Godey's in my basement and have been flipping through the dusty pages.)

Some cool, more-or-less archaic words in this passage:

"forenoon" = late morning
"elysian" = blissful; delightful
"bedlamite" = a lunatic

And then there's "beauteous", meaning beautiful. We don't say "beauteous" anymore, at least not with a straight face.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Word of the Day: usufruct

"Usufruct" (noun) is a word from my book, The Word I'm Thinking Of: A Devilish Dictionary of Difficult Words. TWITO is not a comic book; I'm just having some fun with stripcreator.com. The dialog, however, is from the book (slightly adapted).

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Brain Dump

Consider the reason for resistance to this: The text is not a book and the book is not a text. The size of the text is only limited by the size of one's physical (or, indeed, mental) library. Reference is infinite – and cannot even be limited by the capacity of the world, or of the limits of reality or being, and is not (especially) subject to the concepts of "same" and "other". That is to say, history and the "real" world cannot place limits on the text, which is always, in any case, a symbolic rendering of a symbolic ("unreal") concept. Thus the movement toward interpretation and contextualization always incorporates a network of differences, and therefore referral to an "other" – the implication being that alterity (difference) can never be reduced to mere apples and oranges. Discuss.

Monday, July 14, 2014