The Condensed Bill Clinton - Slate reads My Life so you don't have to.

All the Juicy Bits

Don't have time to read Bill's 957-page "turgid" autobiography? Try The Condensed Bill Clinton, via Slate magazine.

Some samples:

On sex:

Page 197: "I was so exhausted I fell asleep while the stripper was dancing and the goat head was looking up at me."

Of special interest to Freudians:

Page 14: "Hillary says the first time she ever saw me, I was in the Yale Law School lounge bragging to skeptical fellow students about the size of Hope watermelons."

On Hillary:

Page 182: Hillary tries to cut her own hair before Bill's mother arrives for a visit. "It was a minor fiasco; she looked more like a punk rocker than someone who had just walked out of Jeff Dwire's beauty salon. With no makeup, a work shirt and jeans, and bare feet coated with tar from walking on the beach at Milford, she might as well have been a space alien."

On life not lived:

Page 172: "I had fantasized from time to time about being a doorman at New York's Plaza Hotel, at the south end of Central Park. Plaza doormen had nice uniforms and met interesting people from all over the world. I imagined garnering large tips from guests who thought that, despite my strange southern accent, I made good conversation."

Despite his flaws, I really miss Clinton, probably the best US president of my lifetime so far.

Nobody died when Clinton lied.

Nota Bene

Budget for the 9/11 Commission: $15 million.
Budget for Ken Starr's investigation of Bill Clinton: $70 million.
(Your tax dollars at work.)