Jack: Baretta did it. He did it for sure, I'm tellin' ya.

Zack: Baretta wouldn't kill NOBODY. Baretta, he fought for justice, man.

Jack: Not TV Baretta, numnuts. The REAL Baretta. They said he was a gun collector an' she got shot with a WORLD WAR TWO PISTOL!

Zack: He wasn't no gun collector. He had a bird, a parrot . . .

Jack: [sigh]

Zack: He CAUGHT the murderers. Pounded 'em!

Jack: Ha. The parrot?

Zack: No, dickhead. Baretta!

Jack: But I'm talkin' about the REAL Baretta!

Zack: What?

Jack: You know, the actor--Bob . . . somebody. Robert Bakely.

Zack: Who?

Jack: Robert Bakely!

Zack: Who's that?

Jack: Baretta!

Zack: No, that's not his name. That's her name. The gal got shot.

Jack: Whatever.

Zack: Baretta, he wouldn't do nooo such thing. Could see him gettin' framed for it though. That often happened to him, if I remember. Been a long time. Whatever happened to Baretta? Why don't they show the good shows anymore?

Jack: Maybe now they'll rerun it. Prob'ly will.

Zack: Good! That show stood for somethin'.

Jack: Yeah, what?

Zack: What Baretta used to say. "Don't do the crime if you can't do the time."