Sorry to Disappoint

Here are some recent Google searches that brought seekers to this page:

haikus about taking a bath

OK:

Remove your clothing
Then fill the tub with water
Immerse and use soap

Anton chekhov, Lady and the Laptop
I've never heard of that Chekhov story. Are you sure you don't mean Pavel Chekov?

tragic elements in shakespearian comedies
It's much easier to find comic elements in Shakespearean tragedies. That might make a better topic for your paper.

spalding gray nude
Just let him rest in peace. Sheesh.

hilarious paper automata
Hmm. Try searching for "robotic origami giggle-fest."

church of the poisoned mind harmonica
What a great name for a blog!

outsourcing "spider hole" phrase
Yes, they're outsourcing everything these days . . .

how to do twist
You mean THE twist? Swivel your shoulders while you grind your foot.

stories by prostitutes
You won't find any here. I don't get paid for my stories. :(