Monday, August 30, 2004

Today's Surreal Moment

Today's Surreal Moment

Standing in line at the bus terminal, staring up at the catwalks, girders and sodium vapor lights overhead, I see a sign: DO NOT WALK ON CEILING.

OK. I won't walk on the ceiling today. I won't fly like a bird, sit on a cloud, vanish into thin air, spontaneously combust, visit Venus or grow a third eye, either. I promise.

On the way home, observed a guy on the bus intently reading a thick, hardcover book, entitled STAR -- a novel by that stellar literary author Pamela Anderson. I guess everybody has a book in them.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

According to Google: "kids love me because . . ."

According to Google

Kids love me because . . .

I'm a cranky, anti-social half-wit
I am their best friend and parents too
I have been cooking like there is no tomorrow
I always have a smile
I'm (a) the same gender as their mother and (2) strong enough to toss them around in the air
I treat them with respect
they didn't have there [sic] presentations done and needed more time
I'm so soft and make giraffe sounds
i am silly and a kid with them
I keep up with them when we play sports like basketball, tennis,
softball, and going on fun walk/jogs, playing games, etc.
I write stories that tell them about their capacity for evil
they are all wrestling fans
of my ablity to relate to them on there [sic] level no matter what age
I am fun and energetic, and relate to them well
in their eyes I look like kind of a big doll :)
I'm fun to be around. So please contact me asap

Random Acts of Poetry: Pacific

Random Acts of Poetry


Dreamed the sea,
that inconceivable Peace,
the one to which all flippers,
effluent streams,
day-tripping dippers,
sunburning sex,
and catamarans are irrelevant,
the soft wound
from the moon's nativity
and mirror to her exile;
you could turn away or even leave
but it was there,
the magnetic tides
threading nets of remnants,
behind the eyes
and eardrums, arousing
waves of immanence
your most diaphanous
perceptions are yet too coarse
for sanding.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Conversational Terrorism: How NOT to Talk!

Conversation Stoppers

"Why do you ask?"

Always answer an unwelcome question with another question, I say.

More of this sort of thing can be found here:

Conversational Terrorism: How NOT to Talk!

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Ultimate California experience

When I close my eyes, I see palm trees

I'm still recovering from my exhausting "vacation." I think I had the ultimate California experience while on the West Coast: I was wading in the waves at the beach in Santa Monica and got knocked down by a guy on a surf board. "Sorry, dude!" he said.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Word of the Day: Octothorpe

Word of the Day

octothorpe (n)

A name for the telephone handset symbol #

It was a slow day at the pet store, and as the birds screamed and the puppies squealed, Sebastion stared at the telephone keypad, hoping that Fatima would call. Pound symbol or octothorpe? Which was correct? In the end, did it matter?

I'm back . . .

Saturday, August 07, 2004

On hiatus

I'm on vacation for a while. I'll blog from the road if I get the chance. Meanwhile, try some of the links here.

Friday, August 06, 2004

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Google Search: "i wish I could"

According to Google

I wish I could . . .

shimmy like my sister Kate
Go back to college
do more to reach into the raptures of your heart
say all the things that I should say
break all the chains holding me
go back home
play the piano like you
say the same
be of more help
swim with the sharks
do it over again
write like that
fight like Roberto Duran
be there for that
have told her
be someone new for a day
tell him the person who killed his mother was in jail
tell you
pay off your ex for you too
go through life in slow motion
take those words back
let go and accept certain things the way that they are
take back what I have done
be lucid again

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Quote of the Day from "The Naked Crowd"

Quote of the Day

"In an indifferent and socially atomised universe, 'everyone is pained by the thought of disappearing, unheard and unseen' as a result, everyone is tempted to become a writer, turning himself 'into a universe of words'. But 'when everyone wakes up as a writer', Kundera warns, 'the age of universal deafness and incomprehension will have arrived'. Now, we are living in an age of graphomania; we are experiencing the constant din of intimate typing -- in email, in chatrooms, on the web and in the workplace. The clacking noise we hear in the air is the noise of endless personal disclosure. But as Kundera recognised, instead of forging emotional connections with strangers, personal exposure in a vacuum may increase social isolation, rather than alleviate it."

Read more at The Naked Crowd.

Word of the Day: honorificabilitudinitatibus

Word of the Day

honorificabilitudinitatibus (adj)

With honor

"O, they have lived long on the alms-basket of words.
I marvel thy master hath not eaten thee for a word;
for thou art not so long by the head as
honorificabilitudinitatibus: thou art easier
swallowed than a flap-dragon."

--Love's Labor's Lost, Act 5, Scene 1

In the context of the play, this odd passage from Shakespeare seems to be a bit of sarcasm aimed at a pedant. A flap-dragon was (is?) a flaming raisin, used in a game in which people grabbed raisins out of a dish of burning brandy and extinguished them in their mouths before eating them. What fun!

Monday, August 02, 2004

Subservient President

Some say he is merely a puppet . . .

Do what you will with Subservient President.

Day of Terror

Day of Terror

This was "terror day." Terror alerts have been issued for NYC and Northern New Jersey--for specific buildings in those areas at least. Just my luck, I had to venture into New York today, to take my son to his doctor appointment.

We are supposed to be "vigilant"--about what is never specified. I tried to be vigilant, but the only thing out of the ordinary that I noticed was an unusually large number of police standing around looking bored and a group of soldiers on duty at Grand Central Terminal wearing camouflage fatigues. (What good is jungle camouflage at Grand Central?) They were examining the tattoos on some guy's arm with great interest.

A couple of terrifying (if momentary) events did befall me today. I wear lightweight hiking shoes, and a loop on my left shoe somehow got stuck on a hook on my right shoe while I was sitting on the subway. I only discovered this when the train arrived at my stop. Ever had someone tie your shoelaces together? That's exactly what it was like. I stood up in a panic and almost fell over. I had to pull my shoe off completely to get out before the doors closed. Terrifying . . .

On the way home, we somehow got on the wrong bus and ended up on the opposite side of town from where we live. I had a tiny moment of terror as the bus turned down the "wrong" street. But then I decided to accept the situation, sit back and enjoy the ride. That was my contribution today to the never-ending war on terror.