The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Way I Feel

The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Way I Feel

Went and voted in the primary tonight. As usual, the lady at the sign-in table asked me if I'm "related to Bill Gates." Yeah, of course I'm related to Bill. "Sure. That's why I live in Jersey City," I said. She laughed. I swear this little scene gets played out every time I vote.... I have two broken lawnmowers. One of them is still under warranty, and the manufacturer is sending me a replacement. Eventually. Sometime this month. "They're on back order," they say. Meanwhile, I've been attacking the jungle in my (thankfully smallish) backyard with a Weed Wacker, which makes for a very odd, lumpy looking yard.... It's so damn hard to find a birthday card that isn't sappy or insulting (or minimalist/formal to the point of seeming cold).... Arrived home tonight to find a huge cardboard box on the front porch. Inside: the composter that my wife ordered. No more orange peels in the kitchen can. They must now return to nature.... Why don't I.... have a crack icon?