xilinous (adj)
Of or pertaining to cotton
"A xilinous swab is what I need!" Captain Morgan shouted. The first mate thought he was referring to a nefarious deck hand, but actually he only wanted to clean his ears.
odalian (adj)
Relating to an ordeal
Owing to his "delicate" back, Zachary considered any task requiring physical labor to be an ordalian imposition.
caballine (adj)
Suitable for a horse
"How do you expect me to swallow such a caballine tablet?" Mr. Hargreaves asked the bewildered pharmacist.
Monday, September 17, 2012
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Link Mania
Are your claws sharp? Focus your audio! Start interviewing your brains so you can know your groceries and noodle it out as you learn some old Beat slang. It's kinda off the cob....
26 Beatnik Slang Words and Phrases We Should All Start Using
~~~
Did you know John Lennon kept a diary? Here it is: The Lennon Diary 1969. It seems his life in the late 60s was not quite as exciting as people thought.
~~~
Perhaps we've all had our fill of the Plath/Hughes literary soap opera, but this eloquent letter from Ted Hughes to his son, Nick, has some wisdom for us all.
26 Beatnik Slang Words and Phrases We Should All Start Using
~~~
Did you know John Lennon kept a diary? Here it is: The Lennon Diary 1969. It seems his life in the late 60s was not quite as exciting as people thought.
~~~
Perhaps we've all had our fill of the Plath/Hughes literary soap opera, but this eloquent letter from Ted Hughes to his son, Nick, has some wisdom for us all.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Way I Feel
Surprised. Some instant coffee isn't all that bad. They must have improved the technology. Still, I prefer to grind my own. I need to buy some beans this weekend.
Interested. In seeing Paul Thomas Anderson's new film The Master, thanks to everything I hear and read and see about it. Gosh, I wonder what Tom Cruise will think of it. Kudos to any reporter who asks him.
Accomplished. I'm up to page 170 of this book of mine that I'm formatting, and I'm not at the end yet. I didn't think it would stretch out to such a length. I may be using a too large font, although it's the one that KreateSpase recommends. Formatting is a tedious bitch, by the way. You have to kill those widows. (No, I don't mean women whose husbands have died. It's a printing term.)
Sneezy. My nose knows: there must be a lot of invisible ragweed floating around now. This is the time of year, almost jacket weather, when the sternutation starts.
Fecund. The grass seeds I planted out back in the bare spots of our patch (I hesitate to call it a yard) have sprouted. I now have a slightly larger savanna to watch over. And mow. Someday I want to have a picture taken of myself mowing, dressed like this:
Interested. In seeing Paul Thomas Anderson's new film The Master, thanks to everything I hear and read and see about it. Gosh, I wonder what Tom Cruise will think of it. Kudos to any reporter who asks him.
Accomplished. I'm up to page 170 of this book of mine that I'm formatting, and I'm not at the end yet. I didn't think it would stretch out to such a length. I may be using a too large font, although it's the one that KreateSpase recommends. Formatting is a tedious bitch, by the way. You have to kill those widows. (No, I don't mean women whose husbands have died. It's a printing term.)
Sneezy. My nose knows: there must be a lot of invisible ragweed floating around now. This is the time of year, almost jacket weather, when the sternutation starts.
Fecund. The grass seeds I planted out back in the bare spots of our patch (I hesitate to call it a yard) have sprouted. I now have a slightly larger savanna to watch over. And mow. Someday I want to have a picture taken of myself mowing, dressed like this:
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Random Sequence
[random phrases (from here) worked into a story]
Connubial Yin Yang
"What do you call that color? It's awful," said Everett when Mandy showed him how she'd painted their bedroom.
"I call it 'Mocha,'" said Mandy. "That's what it says on the can, too."
"I call it 'Squishy Wormwood,'" said Everett.
"That's just artless persiflage," Mandy replied. "It's better than it was. Much better. Warmer. Before, it was...'Droopy Milkiness.' That's the name for it. It was all milky. And droopy."
"Oh, it was better than that," Everett insisted. "It was lighter. Not depressing. It was the logical color for a bedroom. It had a certain... a certain 'Funky Syllogism' to it. That's what I would call it: 'Funky Syllogism.'"
"Whatever," Mandy averred with unquestioning imperturbability as she rolled her eyes.
"Tell you what," Everett suggested. "Let's paint two walls Squishy Wormwood and the other two Funky Syllogism."
"A compromise? Mocha and Milky Droopiness?" Mandy said. "What will we call that combo?"
"Connubial Yin Yang," Everett said as they collapsed into bed.
[not to be continued]
Connubial Yin Yang
"What do you call that color? It's awful," said Everett when Mandy showed him how she'd painted their bedroom.
"I call it 'Mocha,'" said Mandy. "That's what it says on the can, too."
"I call it 'Squishy Wormwood,'" said Everett.
"That's just artless persiflage," Mandy replied. "It's better than it was. Much better. Warmer. Before, it was...'Droopy Milkiness.' That's the name for it. It was all milky. And droopy."
"Oh, it was better than that," Everett insisted. "It was lighter. Not depressing. It was the logical color for a bedroom. It had a certain... a certain 'Funky Syllogism' to it. That's what I would call it: 'Funky Syllogism.'"
"Whatever," Mandy averred with unquestioning imperturbability as she rolled her eyes.
"Tell you what," Everett suggested. "Let's paint two walls Squishy Wormwood and the other two Funky Syllogism."
"A compromise? Mocha and Milky Droopiness?" Mandy said. "What will we call that combo?"
"Connubial Yin Yang," Everett said as they collapsed into bed.
[not to be continued]
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Word of the Day: pecksniffian
pecksniffian (adj)
Pretending to be benevolent or to have high moral principles, like the Charles Dickens character Mr. Pecksniff
"....there is something quite pestilently Pecksniffian about shrinking from a hard task on the plea that it is not hard enough. If a man will really try talking to the ten beggars who come to his door he will soon find out whether it is really so much easier than the labour of writing a cheque for a hospital."
--G. K. Chesterton, Chesterton Day by Day
I live in a city with a large population of Jehovah's Witnesses. These are religious fanatics who believe the end of the world is near and publish a magazine on the subject, The Watchtower, which they persistently try to give away. They're always standing around at the train station, dressed like they're going to Sunday chapel and smiling enigmatically. I often pass them on the street, too, and they'll invariably say, very politely, "Something to read this morning, sir?" as they hold out their rag. "No thank you," I say. "Have a nice day," they say in a pecksniffian way. I know what they're thinking: "You'll burn in eternal hell fire, you damn foolish sinner."
Pretending to be benevolent or to have high moral principles, like the Charles Dickens character Mr. Pecksniff
"....there is something quite pestilently Pecksniffian about shrinking from a hard task on the plea that it is not hard enough. If a man will really try talking to the ten beggars who come to his door he will soon find out whether it is really so much easier than the labour of writing a cheque for a hospital."
--G. K. Chesterton, Chesterton Day by Day
I live in a city with a large population of Jehovah's Witnesses. These are religious fanatics who believe the end of the world is near and publish a magazine on the subject, The Watchtower, which they persistently try to give away. They're always standing around at the train station, dressed like they're going to Sunday chapel and smiling enigmatically. I often pass them on the street, too, and they'll invariably say, very politely, "Something to read this morning, sir?" as they hold out their rag. "No thank you," I say. "Have a nice day," they say in a pecksniffian way. I know what they're thinking: "You'll burn in eternal hell fire, you damn foolish sinner."
Monday, September 10, 2012
Much Ado about Nothing
Book description of the day:
"...unlike the 'subject' (who comes into existence as a result of symbolic prohibition) or the 'person' (who is aligned with the narcissistic conceits of the imaginary), the singular self emerges in response to a galvanizing directive arising from the real. This directive carries the force of an obligation that cannot be resisted and that summons the individual to a 'character' beyond his or her social investments."
Can I get an "Amen"?
While copy-editing this description as part of my job today, I had to ask myself: Am I a "person" (in quotation marks)? Or a "character"? What are my imaginary, narcissistic conceits? My social investments? Then it came to me. It's this blog, my self-involved attempt to socialize my mental preoccupations in a vainglorious bid to become a "subject", complete with symbolic prohibitions, in the voyeuristic eyes of my mesmerized readers. My singular self, as viewed through the lens of this weblog, is simply a projection, a figment of your collective imagination manipulated by me like a puppet. And admit it -- you love it.
"...unlike the 'subject' (who comes into existence as a result of symbolic prohibition) or the 'person' (who is aligned with the narcissistic conceits of the imaginary), the singular self emerges in response to a galvanizing directive arising from the real. This directive carries the force of an obligation that cannot be resisted and that summons the individual to a 'character' beyond his or her social investments."
Can I get an "Amen"?
While copy-editing this description as part of my job today, I had to ask myself: Am I a "person" (in quotation marks)? Or a "character"? What are my imaginary, narcissistic conceits? My social investments? Then it came to me. It's this blog, my self-involved attempt to socialize my mental preoccupations in a vainglorious bid to become a "subject", complete with symbolic prohibitions, in the voyeuristic eyes of my mesmerized readers. My singular self, as viewed through the lens of this weblog, is simply a projection, a figment of your collective imagination manipulated by me like a puppet. And admit it -- you love it.
Sunday, September 09, 2012
The T&T List
GOLDXtreme
Gideon Sunday
The Tempest
Slavoj Zizek
Brokeland Records
Sion Sono
Thrillist Media Group
hoomoos
Cenk Uygur
Godskitchen
Chalice Well
Kettle Falls
Thursday, September 06, 2012
Photo of the Week
I type all of my posts here on my grandfather's antique Corona typewriter, then scan the pages into electronic files, then upload them. Somehow the tactility of the mechanical keys; the staccato clickety-clack of the typewriter; and the aroma of paper, correction fluid, and ink inspires me. I feel like Ernest Hemingway as I compose lists of head-rattling fixations, catalogs of my feelings, and meandering essays about insignificant trivia. My only dilemma is that, as you can see, one of the keys sticks. Try writing without that letter sometime. It's a itch.
Actually, I just made that up. This is a photo I snapped at the Madison Bouckville Antiques Show in upstate New York last month. My female relations like to shop there for dusty relics; I mostly attend to take pictures of bizarre old doodads, gizmos and thingamabobs.
Click the pic for a closer look and try to appreciate the distant ancestor of your computer keyword. Qwerty forever!
Wednesday, September 05, 2012
Word of the Day x3
janizary (noun)
A follower or supporter
"Will you be my janizary?" Mayor Sprague asked Millicent at the rally. "Sir, I'm a married woman!" she replied, turning several shades of red.
killcow (noun)
An arrogant or bullying person
"Don't be such a killcow," Helen said when Karl kept interrupting her. "What do you mean?" he said. "I'm a vegetarian!"
loganamnosis (noun)[LAHG an um NOH sis]
A mania for trying to recall forgotten words
The password continued to escape him. "I just can't shake my loganamnosis," Chet said with a sigh. "Have you seen a doctor?" Sam asked worriedly.
~~~
Thanks to Leahcim Setag for the above quotations.
A follower or supporter
"Will you be my janizary?" Mayor Sprague asked Millicent at the rally. "Sir, I'm a married woman!" she replied, turning several shades of red.
killcow (noun)
An arrogant or bullying person
"Don't be such a killcow," Helen said when Karl kept interrupting her. "What do you mean?" he said. "I'm a vegetarian!"
loganamnosis (noun)[LAHG an um NOH sis]
A mania for trying to recall forgotten words
The password continued to escape him. "I just can't shake my loganamnosis," Chet said with a sigh. "Have you seen a doctor?" Sam asked worriedly.
~~~
Thanks to Leahcim Setag for the above quotations.
Tuesday, September 04, 2012
Monday, September 03, 2012
Much Ado about NOTHING
Labor
I thought I was on my way home from a simple errand. We were in the car when my wyfe got a text from a friend, a young woman who was moving from one apartment in our neighborhood to another, via U-Haul. "I'm all packed and ready to go," the text said. "Can you help unload?"
My wyfe read the text to me and gave me "the look." What was I supposed to say? No?
A few minutes later I found myself standing inside a truck staring at a small mountain of cardboard and plastic boxes, and various pieces of mismatched furniture. Just when I thought I was going to be emptying this truck myself, several more of the woman's friends showed up. Salvation.
When it comes to moving stuff, gender roles revert, more or less of necessity, to stereotype: The males started unloading boxes, bureaus and bookcases, and lugging them up the stairs to the second-floor walk-up apartment; the females supervised and arranged the "chowder" at the top of the stairs. (I discovered during my own move several years ago that professional movers refer to boxes and such as "chowder".) They also ordered pizza for when this ordeal was over -- yes, moving someone's home, no matter how small, is always an ordeal.
So, I got a slice of pizza, a beer, some party talk, and a sore back out of this little episode.
That how my Labor Day weekend went -- my manual Labor Day weekend.
I thought I was on my way home from a simple errand. We were in the car when my wyfe got a text from a friend, a young woman who was moving from one apartment in our neighborhood to another, via U-Haul. "I'm all packed and ready to go," the text said. "Can you help unload?"
My wyfe read the text to me and gave me "the look." What was I supposed to say? No?
A few minutes later I found myself standing inside a truck staring at a small mountain of cardboard and plastic boxes, and various pieces of mismatched furniture. Just when I thought I was going to be emptying this truck myself, several more of the woman's friends showed up. Salvation.
When it comes to moving stuff, gender roles revert, more or less of necessity, to stereotype: The males started unloading boxes, bureaus and bookcases, and lugging them up the stairs to the second-floor walk-up apartment; the females supervised and arranged the "chowder" at the top of the stairs. (I discovered during my own move several years ago that professional movers refer to boxes and such as "chowder".) They also ordered pizza for when this ordeal was over -- yes, moving someone's home, no matter how small, is always an ordeal.
So, I got a slice of pizza, a beer, some party talk, and a sore back out of this little episode.
That how my Labor Day weekend went -- my manual Labor Day weekend.
Sunday, September 02, 2012
Search Party
Once again, here are a few recent search queries that brought seekers to this temple of scribomania. More surreal inquiries, more attempts at interpretation.
sweating and shivering clip art
Sweating and shivering in the same clip art? That's sick. You must be writing a newsletter about flu season. Or are you looking for two clip arts, hot and cold: one for sweating and one for shivering? Is your class studying about the weather, kid?
chevrolet elvis presley
As far as I know, he never drove a Chevy; he drove Cadillacs, as I found out when I visited Graceland several years ago. I took a picture of one:
Chicken without skin line art
Nude chickens are hard to draw. Not that I've spent a lot of time trying....
shattering roses
Interesting phrase. Clearly you don't mean real roses? They wilt; they don't shatter. Oh, unless you dip them in liquid nitrogen and then drop them. Is that what you're into? That's... special.
world nightmare incarnate
Dubya, in other words, according to Google. Bad as he was, that might be a bit over the top. Hitler? Stalin? Lindsay Lohan?
sweating and shivering clip art
Sweating and shivering in the same clip art? That's sick. You must be writing a newsletter about flu season. Or are you looking for two clip arts, hot and cold: one for sweating and one for shivering? Is your class studying about the weather, kid?
chevrolet elvis presley
As far as I know, he never drove a Chevy; he drove Cadillacs, as I found out when I visited Graceland several years ago. I took a picture of one:
Chicken without skin line art
Nude chickens are hard to draw. Not that I've spent a lot of time trying....
shattering roses
Interesting phrase. Clearly you don't mean real roses? They wilt; they don't shatter. Oh, unless you dip them in liquid nitrogen and then drop them. Is that what you're into? That's... special.
world nightmare incarnate
Dubya, in other words, according to Google. Bad as he was, that might be a bit over the top. Hitler? Stalin? Lindsay Lohan?
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