Sleep Talking

Some people talk in their sleep (including my wyfe, sometimes). Sleep Talkin' Man is a blog dedicated to preserving the midnight mumblings of a slumbering British fellow named Adam, who is quite loquacious while in the arms of Morpheus. "Karen", his spouse, takes dictation and posts them to the blog. When does she sleep, I wonder? Anyway, here are a few of Adam's gems:

"My bagder's gonna unleash hell on your ass. Badgertastic!"
"Can you hold... can you hold my starfish? It doesn't like it when I'm getting excited. Oh look, it likes you! Its legs are all cree-py cree-py."
"If I wanted to see a long nose and a big ass, I'd look at a horse."
"I'm baking pillows. Burn them slowly, keeps them fluffy! Mmmmmm, pillows."
"Your mum's at the door again. Bury me. Bury me deep."
"Flap's on fire. Your flap's on fire! Chili in the vagiiiiina. I'm a bad bad boy."
"I'd rather peel off my skin and bathe my weeping raw flesh in a bath of vinegar than spend any time with you. But that's just my opinion. Don't take it personally."
"Ooh! My balls are itchy. Have you got the cheese grater?"

And lots of profanity.

(Thanks, Joe)