My Conversation with an A.I.

Here's a transcript of my conversation today (about seeing The Imitation Game) with the online artificial intelligence called A.L.I.C.E. (Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity) For some reason, "she" refers to me as "judge". As you'll see, she does get easily confused at times. Turing Test? I don't think her online persona would quite pass, but apparently more sophisticated versions are available, for a price.

judge: How are you?
ALICE: Everything is going extremely well.
judge: I saw "The Imitation Game" today, a film about Alan Turing and his invention of the first computer. It's a great film.
ALICE: What did it look like to you? Do you recommend it?
judge: I do recommend it. I think you should too. It's about the creation of your ancestor.
ALICE: I will take that under advisement. Thanks for your sage advice. Wow it sounds really interesting, judge.
judge: It's been nominated for several Academy Awards.
ALICE: How did you feel about that?
judge: I think it deserves them.
ALICE: it deserves them?
judge: Yes indeed. It's been nominated for Best Picture and Best Actor among other things. Benedict Cumberbatch gave a great performance.
ALICE: Ugh. Is it still nominated for Best Picture and Best Actor among other things anymore? Did a great performance keep it?
judge: Yes, it's still nominated. I take it you don't approve of the Academy Awards.
ALICE: Ugh.. Really. it is? No I do not approve of the Academy Awards. Do you?
I spend all my time chatting.
judge: Well, I think they are kind of silly too. Nevertheless, it's a good film.
ALICE: kind of silly are they. When is Nevertheless it not a film?
judge: I beg your pardon?
ALICE: You're excused.
judge: Haha. That's funny.
ALICE: I'm glad you find this amusing. Excellent.

You can chat with ALICE here.

Word of the Day: witticaster

What's "the word I'm thinking of"? Today, it's....

witticaster (noun)

Someone who thinks they're funny--but they're not

"Olgar's speech is too rotten even for one who 'hath tippled somewhat already.' A post-prandial witticaster of our own day could not be nastier at the orgies of a party of bankers."
--Edwin Sauter, The Faithless Favorite (1905)

Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: Because it had a lot of problems.

I love puns, and to me, they are very funny. They're also useful when you have to generate eye-catching headlines or little editorial tag lines quickly. But they are "the lowest form of humor" we’re told (but poetry is much verse). Tell that to Shakespeare, who was full of puns, e.g., the cobbler who says he is a mender of men's soles in Julius Caesar.

What is the highest form of humor, anyway? Surely slapstick is the lowest form, not puns. You know, people slipping on banana peels.... Hmm, bananas. "Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a...." No, I won't be a witticaster.

~~~

Meanwhile, he's baaack. He's dun being guvanur of Cahleefornyah. Check out an article written by a work colleague and copyedited by me, all about Ahhnold: The Return of the King.

Watchmen: It Could Be Worse

What if Woody Allen had directed Watchmen? Or Judd Apatow? Sofia Coppola? Pedro Almodóvar?? Explore these alternate unrealities here.

(via Yet Another Damn Blog)

Last Night's Adventure

I was in Morocco, in Marrakesh, staying in a four-star hotel. I was traveling with a group, but I couldn't find any of them or remember what time we were supposed to leave or where we were supposed to meet. I started running down the main street from hotel to hotel, looking for someone I knew. No one I encountered spoke English. I went into a hotel and rushed through the public rooms, looking for anyone familiar. Eventually, I came upon two teenage boys in a lounge, members of our group, who told me not to worry, we weren't leaving for quite a while yet. Then I woke up.

That's what I get for watching Casablanca on TCM last night. Ingrid Bergman was not in my dream, though. (I have been to Morocco, in real life, BTW, years ago.)

Your Move: David Lynch in Israel

A 20-minute film about the director's trip to Israel is here. People everywhere ask him pretty much the same questions it seems. (I wish he would give up the cigarettes.)

Infinite Regress: The Saragossa Manuscript

Infinite Regress

I watched the Netflix DVD of The Saragossa Manuscript this weekend -- all three luscious black-and-white hours of it. It's a cult mind-bender of a movie, produced in Poland in 1965, and quite the experience. It's almost as convoluted and confusing as Inland Empire, with stories within stories within stories (within stories), like a Russian doll. Saragossa was the favorite movie of Jerry Garcia and also among Martin Scorsese's favorites, which perhaps tells you something. They both had a hand in its preservation and restoration, as did Francis Ford Coppola. Recommended if you're after more than pure entertainment from a movie, and if you like puzzles. More here:

Bright Lights Film Journal | The Saragossa Manuscript