"You are an indescribably repugnant subhuman and a gaudy, halitosis-infested pulp of stultifying inanity"

Feeling a bit masochistic today? Afraid you might be getting a little too full of yourself? Perhaps you'd like to be insulted by a computer then. (It's a lot less irritating than being verbally abused by some real, live hot-head.) If so, visit the Insultmonger insult generator. Here's how the 'monger describes me today:

You're the saddest, piss-poor excuse for a man I've ever seen, you chromosome-deficient, uber-impotent, rat-faced tard-popsicle. Married, eh? Since when did brother and sister marriages become legal? Who the hell told you that you are attractive? Mr. Magoo? You're the kind pathological liar who even lies to an insult generator. All left-wingers are chronic alcoholics who molest small animals, masturbate behind bushes, and wear fish-net tights while singing Elton John songs. You four-eyed, cerebrally-deluded, Einstein-impersonating, pseudo-intellectual nerdturd with a head full of misfiring synapses. Like your height, everything about you is average; except your stench - which is overwhelming. Your weight may well be proportional, but you've got cellulite that makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic. Professional, my ass. You couldn't win a cigar after giving birth in a tobacco field in Havana, you clueless, uber-incompetent fuckwit. I love that suit you're wearing. You never throw anything away, do you? What you are - besides a pitiable little carnival freak - is a watery bowel movement bubbling back up to the surface after a pregnant water buffalo farts in a muddy river.

Whew! That was bracing.