Crazy Horoscopes

Time to cut loose?

Crazy Horoscopes.com offers "alternative" astrological advice. In the coming week, I am advised to:

"Do something outrageous. Attach a 200 horse-power engine to your lawnmower and ride around naked on it while spray painting any people with blue paint, as you pass them by. When the police chase you and put a stop to you, just hit them over the head with a pompom and tell them you want directions to the nearest peanut refinery. If all goes well they should give you a grape. If not, then they will probably beat you with a nightstick."

More likely, if I took this literally, I'd end up in a mental ward. But as a thought experiment, it may have merit. I am sometimes accused of being too uptight, cautious and risk-averse. (What can I say? I'm a Capricorn -- though I don't really believe in astrology, except as a sort of Jungian mind game that may prompt some useful insights.) "Fear is the mind killer," as a character in Dune says. It freezes thought. The time I spend thinking about the things I'm scared of -- like dying poor and alone -- could be put to better use, I'm sure. And that's equally true of thinking about what other people are thinking about.

When I lived in the country, I used to mow lawns, usually with a push mower, but sometimes with a riding mower. It didn't occur to me at the time, but looking back at it, it seems like such a wasteful activity -- wasteful of time and gasoline and clean air. A lawn is such an unnecessary luxury (a field of grass is something else). Now I wonder why I didn't just set off cross country on the thing, until I had some kind of adventure. If nothing else, it would have given me something to write about.

(via The Presurfer)
_