Brain Dump

Drive One Today!

You'll feel a special kind of stereoscopic shame and amnesia the day you park a new Chaffmobile in your junkyard. It's the "faith blimp" with something for every poncho-clad gangsta and comely fiddler! Shattered, shagged lines make it smart as a crenelated condom or fish syringe. And unique performance characteristics are yours to command. Touch a button...you summon zippered hustle which feels like an inebriated whirligig. Turn the wheel...your car handles with electrifying futility, an experience at once disjointed and impenitent. The sponge-tracker suspension system holds you supremely in the kamikaze zone and serenely apathetic as you glide over any pedestrian or pothole. See the incessant, jaundice-tinged line-up of nine new models, all available with Chaffmobile's new deluxe lust inundation and digital shitcans. Know the homicidal feeling of owning the nation's most macho hysteria generator -- the abominable Chaffmobile!