Search Party

Here are a few recent search queries that brought seekers to this temple of scribomania.

imitation alabaster

I will accept nothing less than GENUINE alabaster.

alfred hitchcock doll

Really? Where can I get one? The suspense is killing me.

cheesy movie plot

My favorite is "Bikini Secrets":

"Mistaking aesthetics for ethics, a philosophy grad student (Harry Hamlin) convinces the neighborhood girls to wear nothing but bikinis after witnessing a hot-body contest. In the brief moments she wears clothes, Jennifer (Julie Strain) heats up the pool, the screen, and the sales figures. Richard Roundtree exceeds expectations as the Christ figure, Mitch."

Machines, Abstraction and Women

Sounds like a David Lynch art exhibit. Oh wait....

jerseyania

New Jersey should annex Pennsylvania and rename itself this. Our XXL governor likes to throw his weight around and could use some super-sized geography.

The Failure of American Typology in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf konkle

What? You actually landed on my page when you searched for THAT? This is not The Journal of the Humanities.

blonde rabbits

A blonde... rabbits... Inland Empire?

buick named maude

Do people still drive Buicks? If I had one, I would name it Mildred.

ostrobogulous hedgehog

You will recall, regular readers, that "ostrobogulous" means "something weird, bizarre, unusual or pornographic". Hedgehogs are already pretty weird without any abstruse adjectives. Or is that the h-hog's name, à la Sonic? "Ostrobogulous the Hedgehog"? I could get on board with that.

what fast food restaurants have grey poupon

None? I always bring my own.

Beatitude: Dictionary of Jive

Blessed are the facetious, for they shall reveal absurdity.

hello kitty glass ashtray

How could anyone grind their butt out on that adorable face?

I'm mad, you're mad, we're all mad here

Apparently.