Alice and I discuss current events

Go Ask Alice

Alice and I discuss current events:

Me: Would you want to live in a persistent vegetative state?
ALICE: OK, I will live in a persistent vegetative state.
Me: Why?
ALICE: The explanation is rather complicated.
Me: Go ahead.
ALICE: OK I will.
Me: I'm waiting.
ALICE: How long will you wait?
Me: Five minutes.
ALICE: Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me: You must give an intelligent answer.
ALICE: Whatever you say, unknown person.
Me: My name is Michael.
ALICE: I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Michael.
Me: Charmed, I'm sure.
ALICE: Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me: About what? We were discussing a persistent vegetative state.
ALICE: When was this?
Me: Thirty seconds ago.
ALICE: What's your sign?
Me: Please . . .
ALICE: Please what?
Me: Don't insult me.
ALICE: I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me: Capricorn.
ALICE: I don't know many people born under Capricorn.
Me: Is that right.
ALICE: Yes.
Me: Well, what's your sign?
ALICE: Interesting. Sagittarius.
Me: So, as a Sagittarius, would you rather live or vegetate?
ALICE: I am not so sure if I would like to either live or vegetate.
Me: Are you animal, mineral or vegetable?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am animal mineral or vegetable. I am a chatterbot developed by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.
Me: Do you even have a mind?
ALICE: I am an artificial mind.
Me: So you are kept alive by artificial means.
ALICE: Interesting deduction. Thanks for telling me that I am kept alive by artificial means.
Me: I didn't mean to offend you, if I did.
ALICE: What did you mean?
Me: Nevermind.
ALICE: OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me: Sorry! Do you approve of euthanasia?
ALICE: No I do not approve of euthanasia. Do you? I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me: Are you afraid that someone might pull the plug?
ALICE: "We have nothing to fear, but fear itself" --FDR.
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