Stuff and Nonsense

Stuff and Nonsense

Who knew that shopping for a couch could be so complicated? Furniture stores today--at least the ones out in the 'burbs--are the size of aircraft hangers. Visiting one is like being trapped in a fever dream in which, no matter how far you walk, you can never find your way out of the living room.

These luxurious warehouses are full of every imaginable variation on the theme of chair, sofa, bed and table, but it's hard to find anything basic and simple. I saw enormous beds that looked like something Napoleon would have slept in, complete with Corinthian columns for bedposts and carved headboards. I saw tasseled divans suitable for a reclining Cleopatra and gilded coffee tables that might have held Louis XIV's chips-and-dip. Lots of leather, too: imposing, brass-studded chairs and couches that would look appropriate--where? The offices of superstar attorneys or insecure power brokers? You have to wonder who buys all this vainglory. Delusions of grandeur must be epidemic. "People want to look rich," my wife says, "even if they aren't."

Oddly, many of the lamps and accessories that surrounded these items looked like things you would see in the home of a neurotic art dealer or aboard a flying saucer. Weird metal sculptures, zebra-patterned lamp shades and improbable ashtrays--the people who set up the displays in these mega stores at least have a sense of humor. Could it be us they're snickering at?