The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Way I Feel

Somebody introduced himself to me today. Felt strange; people usually don't. People I've "known" for years have yet to introduce themselves.... It's Earth Day, it's great, but I can't get excited about it. It isn't apathy. I'm just stockpiling enthusiasm.... Walking around with my umbrella makes me feel like Mary Poppins. Except not as tough.... Yes, I enjoy agitating the language for my own pleasurement, otherhandly I reckon business buzzwords as mean, mean mind-mangles....