Hot and Not

The top 10 gaining search queries, according to the Google Zeitgeist page:

1. michael jackson

I guess this one is obvious enough. See what I had to say about MJ below. By the way, go here if you want to see what Michael would look like today if he'd left his face alone.

2. kellie waymire

A nice name. It has a ring to it. Who is she?

3. paris hilton

I enjoyed an episode of her new reality series, The Simple Life (and I hate reality shows). A spoiled heiress spends a month working on a family farm. It reminded me of one of my favorite TV comedies, a Beckett-ish study in rural frustration called Green Acres. Could Paris be the Eva Gabor of the new century? (No, I haven't seen her sex tape.)

4. jonathan brandis

Sorry, Jonathan, I have no idea who you are.

5. rugby world cup

To me, rugby is like (American) football, without the pads and helmets. Testosterone city. Are they brave or crazy?

6. the bachelor

One of those execrable, contrived "reality" shows.

7. australian idol

Who do Aussies idolize?

8. paulina gretzky

Wayne's wife? No idea . . . (Postscript: I've been informed that this is his daughter, and she's a singer.)

9. phil collins

What's HE done lately?

10. coupe du monde de rugby

Using my high-school knowledge of French, I've determined that this is the same search query as #5 above. Le rugby est chaud -- c'est tout dire.