How Unfortunate....

The latest Google time-waster sweeping the nation: plug the word "Unfortunately" and your name into a search engine and compile the resulting hilarity.

Unfortunately, Michael discovers Nellie's hands-on approach is more than he bargained for.
Woah, Nellie...

Unfortunately, Michael is quite right. One could wish it were not so, but that won't change the fact.
Told you so.

Unfortunately Michael didn't sing after the show last night.
This is unfortunate?

Unfortunately Michael was a woman who lied to himself.
Disturbing news, to say the least.

Unfortunately, Michael was killed in a mining accident at the Hunt decline in Kambalda.
Remind me to stop mining.

Unfortunately, Michael is also well known for his many public improprieties.
You've sure got me pegged.

Unfortunately, Michael never did anything that wasn't necessary.
Why should I?

Unfortunately, Michael cannot respond to readers' individual family issues shared through email.
Sorry folks!

Unfortunately, Michael doesn't have an idealistic mental image of a family and, in fact, isn't quite sure what a family really is.
Not true. I've seen almost every episode of The Brady Bunch.

Unfortunately, Michael's life soon became complicated when he was abducted by Omnira and others from Androgynia.
Believe me, I have enough complications without this.

Unfortunately, Michael is currently in a federal prison on felony charges and isn't scheduled to be released until July.
It seems I've been a bad boy.

Unfortunately Michael has suffered a chronic psychiatric incident which has left him unable to pen his usual piece about motor cars for you today.
Don't you wish.

Unfortunately, Michael often drops the "quarta di" from his directions, keeping only the "al."
Huh??

Unfortunately, Michael never learned how to swim. Instead, he just walks on the wet stuff.
That's me. I walk on water.