The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Way I Feel

The local Wheelchair Wonder wizzed by me while I was wandering home today. His tricked-out electric wheelchair has several unusual items (especially for a wheelchair) on the back: a couple of fake skulls, several American flags, a "U.S.A." logo, and three Hawaiian hula-dancer figurines. The elderly occupant of this vehicle wears a shiny metallic vest, sort of like chain mail. I estimate he was rolling by at about 15 mph. He waved at one of my neighbors who was talking on a cell phone in her front yard and continued to zip down the sidewalk. Felt like I had just experienced a Lynchian moment....

In other neighborhood news: according to the local paper, a trash-filled "house of horrors" has been discovered on my block, complete with cats, dogs, birds, human and animal feces, an elderly occupant and a not-quite elderly occupant, both now carted off to a hospital. Ewww!....

I've been reading some Woody Allen paperbacks that fell into my temporary possession. (It would never have occurred to me to buy them.) Side Effects is hilarious; Getting Even not so much (so far). But still, take a break from making fey films and put pen to paper, WA....

In the "You Thought You Had Problems?" department, here's a book I won't be reading, but its title brightened my day today: Defiance: How to Succeed in Business Despite Being Hounded by the FBI, the KGB, the INS, the Department of Homeland Security, the Department of Justice, Interpol, and Mafia Hit Men. (That's a real, non-fiction book. Google if you don't believe it....)