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Scenario 19 (excerpt 2)

Malcolm and Harold, two gray-haired business men, stand behind a table covered with miscellaneous objects.

"It's all in the terminology," says Malcolm, demonstrating once again his grasp of strategic brand-name development.

Harold looks skeptical. "I'm an inventor, not a marketeer," he says. "But it's just a more efficiently shaped flyswatter. And you want to call it a...a...."

"Slap Wanker!" Malcolm says emphatically. "You'll sell scads more."

"Sounds a bit, uh, sordid, if you ask me," says Harold.

"Piffle," Malcolm says. "You have to get people's attention. That's why I want you to rename your website. You should call it 'Spooge Equipment to Go' or something very similar. Something eye-catching. You have to compete with the likes of Harriet Carter and Carol Wright -- boring names, but superstars in the 'I love widgets' retail arena."

"But calling a thermos-blender combination a....what was it?"

"Speedboat Margarita Cooler."

"And my first-aid fanny pack?"

"Boo-boo Mommy Kit."

Harold sighs. "Okay. But this..." -- he picks up his ladybug yo-yo -- "is a simple child's toy."

"No! It's a Bug Wrangler."

Harold rolls his eyes. "It's just a yo-yo!"

"Ha! And the Ultra SonicCare is just a toothbrush."

"And my garden-hose sprayer attachment -- how can you call it a..."

"....Back Yard Baster. Gotta be."

"And this, this little shovel with the telescoping handle...."

"It's a Lazyman Pooperscooper," says Malcolm. "Of course it is. What would you call it? An extendable shovel? Zzzzzz."

Harold picks up his flyswatter and slaps Malcolm on the top of the head. "Wanker!" he says.