Much Ado about NOTHING

I'm tired of urban tumbleweeds.

I refer, of course, to the plastic bags one often sees blowing in the wind, down the street and overhead. My house is a magnet for them, forcing me to trash pick. We also tend to collect them indoors, due to an unfortunate habit we have called shopping. Even the apple tree in the back yard attracted one a while ago, a shiny blue one that it caught in its upper branches, way, way out of reach. Try standing on a shaky stepladder, on uneven ground, and wrestling with a spiky tree branch over a polyethylene jellyfish. This is the definition of irksome.

Help may be on the way. Jersey City is preparing to join its West Coast equivalents San Francisco and Portland (cough, cough) in banning plastic bags. Political antipodes Mayor Healy and Councilman Fulup have jointly proposed it. The City Council may well pass it (or, this being cranky town, bag it).

Plastic? Oh no…banned!