Random Sequence: 'Stereophonic Metastasis'

[random phrases worked into a story]

Aaron, a middle-aged bachelor and crossword-puzzle aficionado, couldn't decide who to vote for in the upcoming mayoral slugfest.The scabrous economic voodooism of the frog-visaged right-wing candidate, Charles Gnarley, did not appeal. Neither did the hyperactive mudslinging of the left-wing challenger, Vidalia Humberson, whom Aaron thought of as an "energizing floozie" due to her plunging necklines.

Aaron's older brother, Darren, who lived in Stuttgart for business reasons, was, like many older siblings abroad, something of a transoceanic castigator: "Make up your damn mind," he said, when Aaron called him on election day to lament his indecision. "Deliver your bucktoothed conferment on one or the other and live with the consequences," he said. (Aaron had some dental problems that he refused to ameliorate, much to the consternation of Darren, who consulted for a German dental-retainer manufacturer.)

Aaron, somewhat miffed, hung up and turned on both the television and the radio. He wanted to review the latest attack ads, hoping that they might help him to opt. But the cacophony of listening to both aspirants simultaneously berate and impugn each other inspired a ping-ponging series of this-one, that-one "decisions" that just made him dizzy. He could only describe his mental confusion as a state of stereophonic metastasis. It induced balloting paralysis in the voting booth -- so much so that he hesitated over both candidates' buttons, ultimately pressing neither. "I'll write a missive to the editor instead," he thought, "lamenting the lack of options."

He went home and opened the newspaper, looking for the address for submitting letters. But he was distracted by the crossword puzzle and forgot all about it as he searched for a nine-letter word for politics.

[not to be continued]