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The Hyperdimensional Oscillator (tm) corrects and filters the cosmic energies flowing into the human body to bring increased harmony and balance to the body’s electrical system.

The Hyperdimensional Oscillator (tm) is specially prepared to emit cosmic resonant energy frequencies that synchronize and promote a healthy human bioenergy field.

The Hyperdimensional Oscillator (tm) facilitates communication with higher dimensions including entities commonly termed "Extraterrestials" or "ETs"... [It] is based on the famed Teslascope, the device that Nikola Tesla invented to communicate with other planets.

Yes, this is a real product, and you can buy one at the bargain price of only $199.95 here. You think that's a lot to spend on extraterrestrial communication? Think of the millions that have been spent on radio telescopes, and for what? Static and a few ambiguous bleeps.

I might have a few questions for the ETs.... but I think I'll stick with my Ouija board for now. Do let me know how you like this thingy if you get one, though.

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Meanwhile....

David Foster Wallace's 1,079-page novel Infinite Jest was recently staged as a 24-hour theatrical event and test of audience endurance in Berlin. Details here. "Berliners have a high threshold for weirdness."