Search Party

Here are a few recent search queries that brought seekers to this temple of scribomania. This week, my visitors have been searching for bathroom fixtures, body modifications, joke novelties (?), and tawdry plot lines. You're a classy bunch!

surrealism toilet seat fur

All I want for Xmas is a mink-lined toilet seat. That'll show 'em!

rococo style lady faces

What kind of face would a rococo lady have? Heavy pancake make-up, fake beauty marks, rouge, lipstick.... That Dangerous Liaisons look. Ro-cuckoo.

victorian tattoo

I hate tattoos, but if I was going to get one, I think I would have this Victorian gentleman tattooed on my shoulder blade:



strange bikes

Yes. Strange Bikes.... Thank you! You have just named my dream-pop conceptual chillwave band.

cheesy plot lines generator

Who needs a generator? Here you go:

A man suffering from impotency (Nick Cassavetes) enters into a deadly affair while attempting to commit his wife to a mental institution. Hiding her own history, the mysterious Brenda (Deborah Shelton) can't say no. Edward Albert confuses as a palmist and soothsayer.

chewing gum works like laxative

Are you seriously proposing this and searching to see if it has already been patented -- or are you also searching for a hand buzzer, a squirting lapel flower, a rubber chicken, and a whoopee cushion?

stop tergiversating

I will if you will, unless I change my mind. Minds are quite changeable, you know.