Word of the Day: stultiloquence

What's "the word I'm thinking of"? Today, it's....

stultiloquence (noun)

Foolish talk, idiotic discourse, or babble

"....but Saul, seldom sent to school, seldom said a single shrewd saying, and seldom showed signs of striving to say: so some said he seemed a somnolent sap-head, surpassingly sufflated with stupid stultiloquence."
--Francis Channing Woodworth, "Story of Saul Simpleton" (1852)

Overheard on the bus one evening last week:

"There were too many yuppies. I need some rhythm in my life. Not just frolicking. That's just me being hickey, I guess...."

This was a rather parvenu-sounding woman burbling into her phone in the seat behind me. I couldn't help puzzling over what this little stultiloquent discourse meant. Do yuppies still exist? What does "hickey" mean? I suppose there are still young, urban professionals swimming around, even in the current economic malaise, but they no longer constitute a distinct social movement, I don't believe. As for "hickey", if she wasn't referring to herself as a passionate welt, she must have meant "hickish" -- i.e., unsophisticated. Apparently "hickey" people prefer rhythm to frolicking, repetition to playfulness.

Personally, I prefer my frolicking to be rhythmic.

Random Acts of Poetry

Instructions for Thursday

Today you are upside down,
in the dead place,
the sky gray as basalt.

Houses kneel near the edge of the street,
all the doors barred,
windows blank as eyelids.

Grass grows tall and perverse
in the tiny yards,
like your morning hair, unruly scalps.

You follow the sleepwalkers.
They seem to know the way
better than you, underground,

across the river to the factory,
where a black dog
dozes on the threshold.

He has three heads,
three slobbering mouths
full of teeth vicious as knives.

Step over. Take the seat saved for you
in the center of the egg crate.
Close your eyes, palms turned up.

Think about a golden ball
wandering an endless pool table.
Think about a poppy red like fire.

Search Party

Here's another collection of recent search queries that brought seekers to this temple of scribomania, featuring the usual mix of obscure enthusiasms, weird obsessions, and trivial pursuits.

Photos of trees with mineral deficiencies

You mean like this one in my neighborhood? It's swallowing a street sign. Yes, I think mineral deficiency could be the explanation. Or maybe it's just hungry?



guilty with an explanation excuse

Can't think of one? Check out the Excuse-O-Mat

victorian man tattoo

Any excuse to post this:



jacques derrida deconstruction for dummies

I don't think his French post-structuralist philosophy can be dumbed down, alas. (Every word of that sentence I just typed is a signifier, not a signified.)

schizophrenia around the world

The grand tour. This sounds like a cracked variation on an old Life magazine headline.

Why is Charles Pooter pooterish?

The eternal question. Why, Charles, why?

Photo of the Week

When I called the taxi/livery service to take me to the airport, I didn't expect this posh old jalopy to show up. The driver, who kept calling me Mickey for some reason, explained that this ancient Rolls Royce is usually used by their company only for parades and promotional events. But all their Lincoln Town Cars were busy that day -- a podiatrist convention was in town -- or in the shop, he said. So I rolled along to Newark Airport feeling like Jay Gatsby on his way to West Egg (or East Egg?). Too bad there wasn't any bootleg libation in the backseat mini-bar.

Actually, I just made that up. This is a Roll Royce I spied while strolling down Kennedy Boulevard -- not the type of car you see on the street in Jersey City every day. It was parked outside of a church, so I assume it had something to do with a wedding. Click on the pic for a close up view, will ya? You will.

Word of the Day: oikofugic

What's "the word I'm thinking of"? Today, it's:

oikofugic (adjective)

Marked by the urge to wander or travel away from home

"Genevieve's employment as an air hostess for Oceanic Airlines enabled her to indulge her most oikofugic fantasies, but an emergency landing in Uzbekistan was not one of them."

I'm a fan of wandering -- but whatever its pleasures, after a while it makes you appreciate your little hovel on Familiarity Street again. Ultimately, I need a routine, which you can't establish while traveling, to feel grounded. Although... too much routine leads to complacency and oikofugic boredom. That's when it's time to pack up and perambulate again. Breathe in, breathe out.

Link Mania

White sale: The "White Album" is my favorite album. What if there was a record store that offered nothing but racks and racks of the "White Album"? There is.

I found some sage advice online on how to take a great author photo. It probably applies to things like Facebook profile pix too. One suggestion: stick your finger in your ear.

Best book title I've come across recently: Napoleon's Hemorrhoids: And Other Small Events That Changed History. I'm sure they weren't small events to Napoleon.

How to understand an introvert. "Introverted people live in a human-sized hamster ball." That's it in a nutshell.

How to understand a David Lynch film. You don't have to meditate to do it. You do have to forget about spoon-fed meanings.

Random Sequence

Voices Out of Nowhere

I'm completely exhausted tonight, so here's a little blast from the past.

Sometimes when I'm bored or out of ideas, I write little dialogues between imaginary voices. (I know, I'm strange.) Here's one you may enjoy:

Behind the Eight Ball

Fish Food for Thought

Agree? More clip-art philosophy by me (and Aristotle). You can catch the BIG fish here. And more Philosofish here.

Word of the Day: ogganition

What's "the word I'm thinking of"? Today, it's....

oggannition (n)

(Also spelled ogganition.)

Snarling or growling.

"She snored so loudly that her roommates mistook the cacophony for oggannition."

Almost every time I walk past a neighbor's house, a tiny, ugly dog -- some kind of pug -- on a sill behind the front window goes into a paroxysm of ogganition, snarling and yapping at me while running back and forth and jumping up against the glass. I believe this little monster would tear me apart if it could only get at me. The poor creature is bored, I suspect, and wishes I would try to break in, so it could chomp on my leg. I just smile at Pugsley (my imagined name for him/her), which only accelerates the frenzy. Long after I've passed on by, I can still hear the conniption, with what I detect is an edge of disappointment in each yip and yap.

Head Rattle

I.Both "metadata" and "Jersey City" were mentioned on TV sudser Revenge this week. Did I write that episode?

II.My wyfe gave me a milk-chocolate deer head for Valentine's Day. My God, we're weird people.

III.On the wall of a bus this evening, I saw a small white sticker that just said "Sem.i.no.mad.iC" Intriguing. I had to Google it to find out what this odd word, and even odder punctuation, meant. Rock band? Religious cult? Hipster travel agency? No, it's a funky, urban "lifestyle brand" fashion line. Of course. I was hoping for something a little more esoteric or uncanny.

Happy Valentine's Day

Anagrams for "Valentine":

Venal Nite
Navel Nite
Naive Lent
Nail Event
Teen Anvil
Alien Vent
An Evil Net

Much Ado about NOTHING

Ten years ago today, I blogged the following:

My Life, My Duct Tape

I've been advised to stock up on plastic sheeting and duct tape, just in case a chemical warhead explodes somewhere in the vicinity. (I live near a major Northeastern megalopopolitanapolis that is, in fact, favored by terrorists.) Plastic sheeting is in short supply around here, but duct tape is no problem--I'm always well supplied, as I have a near fetish about the stuff. Every winter, I tape up the condo's drafty windows with white duct tape, and many of the tiles in our bathroom are held in place with it. (We're saving up to remodel the bathroom, needless to say. Meanwhile, waterproof duct tape is literally holding our walls up).

Those are just two of the many practical uses for this amazingly versatile adhesive. I've even been known to hem my trousers with duct tape. It works--sticks--until you wash them, at least.

There are all sorts of other fun uses for the stuff. A girl I once knew in my salad days was a real blabbermouth, and I threatened to tape her mouth shut one afternoon. She loved the idea (having perhaps seen too many movies about kidnap victims). I taped her up, and she enjoyed going "mmm, mmmm" for an hour or so, while shaking her head and rolling her eyes. I taped her wrists and ankles, too, at her request. Childish fun!

Go out and get a roll. You can never have too much.

Word of the Day x3

What's "the word I'm thinking of"? Today, there are three:

humdudgeon (noun)

An imaginary illness

"Whenever there was work to be done, Zachary took to his bed with a humdudgeon."

jaculate (verb)

To throw or hurl

"'I found the ball,' Kevin said. 'Hey, let's go out back and jaculate!'
'Uh, no.... I, uh, have a girlfriend, dude,' said Jerry."

nisus (noun)

Effort; endeavor; exertion; impulse

"Surprising everyone, Alphonse, with great nisus, did a headstand. 'Clears my sinuses,' he explained."

Photo of the Week

Here we see an objet d'art in our local museum's sculpture garden, cloaked in snow from the recent blizzard. It's an early work in gilded marble by Alexander Von Himmelfarb, considered a leading exemplar of the neoclassical "Meretricious School".

Actually, I just made that up. This is a kitschy garden ornament I picked up off the street a while back (I wrote about it here) and stuck in our backyard, where we also display another now snow-covered sculptural masterpiece.

Click the pic for a close-up view, art lovers.

Severe Weather ALERT

WEATHER SUMMARY FOR SOUTHEASTERN NY, NORTHEASTERN NJ AND SOUTHERN CT MENTALITIES
U.S. EAST COAST WEATHER SERVICE
9:59 PM EST TUE FEB 07 2013

A DEVELOPING DEPRESSION AND ASSOCIATED MOPING WILL BRING DESPONDENCE AND FEELINGS OF NON-EXISTENCE THIS EVENING AND INTO TOMORROW. ANGUISH AND BLUBBERING WILL BE HEAVY AT TIMES...ESPECIALLY IN AREAS WHERE DISAPPOINTMENTS OCCUR. ACCUMULATIONS OF WEEPING MAY REACH 14.5 INCHES. SUICIDE RATES WILL BE IN THE UPPER 20S TO MIDDLE 30S.

SOME SPIKES IN THE DESPAIR AND A PASSING UPPER LEVEL PANIC ATTACK AT GUSTS OF UP TO 60 MPH ON FRIDAY MAY LEAD TO SCATTERED ANGST AND WAILING. HIGH RATES OF ANXIETY WILL RANGE FROM THE MIDDLE TEENS TO NEAR 30.

LIGHTHEARTEDNESS RETURNS LATE SATURDAY OR EARLY SOMEDAY.

Head Rattle

I.The proof copy of my magnum opus has at last arrived. Yipee! Too bad I don't have time to read it right now.

II.Flower power and cognitive dissonance: an amaryllis blooms on the windowsill as a blizzard approaches (according to TV news).

III.Resolved: Answering the land line is never a good idea.

Word of the Day: legatee

What's "the word I'm thinking of"? Today, it's....

legatee (n)

A person who receives a legacy (a bequest, an inheritance) in a will.

"You don't," said Mr. Pecksniff, with a melancholy pressure of his hand, "quite understand my nature yet, I find. No, Sir, I am not a legatee. I am proud to say I am not a legatee. I am proud to say that neither of my children is a legatee. And yet, Sir, I was with him at his own request. He understood me somewhat better, Sir. He wrote and said, 'I am sick. I am sinking. Come to me!' I went to him. I sat beside his bed, Sir, and I stood beside his grave. Yes, at the risk of offending even you, I did it, Sir."
--Charles Dickens, Martin Chuzzlewit (1844)

Dickens was a genius at making up odd, rather comical Anglo-Saxon names: Martin Chuzzlewit, Mr. Pecksniff, Mr. Pickwick, Alfred Jingle, Augustus Snodgrass, Mr. Bumble, Vincent Crummles, Wackford Squeers, Dick Swiveller, Mr. Toots, Betsey Trotwood, Uriah Heep, Honoria Dedlock, William Guppy, Joshua Smallweed, Mrs. Jellyby, Herbert Pocket, Nicodemus Boffin, and of course, Ebenezer Scrooge.

How would you like to go through life with a name like Wackford Squeers or, heavens, Dick Swiveller? Imagine the playground teasing.... I wouldn't mind having a distinctive name like Nicodemus Boffin, though, instead of the common one I share with thousands across the nation, some unsavory.

Random Acts of Poetry

Trains

I remember that heartbeat
thud of them

while I turned in my bed.
The endless freight

of Lackawana, the mineral tick
of steel on tracks.

You could not enter
the city of my birth

without smelling the tannery,
respecting

the crossings that brought us all
to a stop.

The noise of the courses
off in the world

was part of that house,
with its model train

in the basement,
with a miniature mind

running in circles
vast in their distance.

Link Mania: ID Generator

Need a new online identity or a (very) minor character for your novel? Try the Random Person Generator. Here's the lowdown on "Ethan Hayes":

Likes: cats, fish and hot chocolate
Dislikes: walking, watching television and helicopters

Each profile includes an amusing line drawing of the character.

For lazy English Comp students, the same site offers a Random Essay Generator. Just type in a topic. The results are not as nonsensical as you might expect. Here's the first paragraph of an essay I generated on "terrorism":

"Think back to the first time you ever heard of terrorism. At one stage or another, every man woman or child will be faced with the issue of terrorism. Though terrorism is a favourite topic of discussion amongst monarchs, presidents and dictators, it is yet to receive proper recognition for laying the foundations of democracy. It still has the power to shock those politicaly minded individuals living in the past, many of whom fail to comprehend the full scope of terrorism. Though I would rather be in bed I will now examine the primary causes of terrorism."