Head Rattle

I.
Bumper sticker / lapel button idea:

Ah! barackobama poussé, poussé.

II.
Salad haiku

Lettuce tomato
Diced green pepper in a toss
Here comes Paul Newman

III.
Useless fact:

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a famous king from history:

Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs - Alexander the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar

IV.
Cousin Bill

V.
Discovered by accident one summer: most of the people on Gunnison Beach you would not care to see naked.

VI.
Why don't you . . .

. . . cut all the sleeves off your shirts for summer . . . put a mirror at an angle next to your TV set, so you can watch everything in stereo . . . pull a leg off a dead fly, put it in an envelope, and mail it to Yoko Ono . . . record all your phone conversations, add a drum track and offer them for sale on eBay as underground rap recordings . . . remove all the "postage paid" envelopes from your junk mail, stuff them with flyers and brochures, and drop them in a mail box . . . wear a Mona Lisa smile today . . . ask someone to call you "Nick" from now on . . . walk around with an unlit cigarette dangling rakishly from your mouth. (If someone asks you why it's not lit, say "because I quit smoking.")