Head Rattle

I.
Japan. Who needs Godzilla? This is horrifying. Just what the world needs right now: earthquakes, tsunami (they are never called "tidal waves" anymore, for some reason), and nuclear meltdowns. I guess I should stop complaining about the weather. The only earthquakes we have here are a little vibrator every few years that I never notice.

II.
A fellow I work with was offered, on a dare from someone in another department, $100 to come into the office on St. Patrick's Day dressed as a leprechaun, which he already resembles a bit. He says he's going to do it. And he's not even Irish, to my knowledge. His last name is Russian, the same as a famous 19th-century Russian author's. There is such a thing as a Russian leprechaun: you combine Irish whiskey cream and Russian vodka with dry sherry and coffee liqueur. And then you apparently feel like a a leprechaun. (I wouldn't know.)