Head Rattle: State of the Onion

I.
More snow. I give up. My attempts to control the weather telepathically by thinking about palm trees and bikinis has failed. I embrace winter. I adore a winter landscape of frosted trees and frozen slush. Surely that will now lead to a warming trend? Speaking of winter, I recently attended a black-tie event at which many female congregants wore open-toed sandals. In January. When it was 15 degrees (F). And we had six inches of snow on the ground (we still do). Maybe they were trying to control the weather. Guys I see on the street wearing bermuda shorts this time of year: you're just as perplexing.

II.
The State of the Onion! When is a speech like an onion? When it's the "State of the Union", which is (or should be) not a speech but a report. When delivered as a speech, it has too many layers. It's about everything: the economy, foreign relations, terrorism, immigration, energy, the environment, healthcare, the budget, education, the role of government, plus obligatory absurdities about "the greatest country on earth", blah, blah. And so, being a speech about everything, it is really a speech about salmon nothing. Which is why last night's State of the Onion, delivered by a man whose rhetorical skills can rival a Kennedy or a Reagan, was so utterly cliched and dull. He should have mailed in a hardcopy, as presidents before Woodrow Wilson generally did, and as Jimmy Carter did as recently as 1981.