Random Sequence

Swamp Dentures

"They're here somewhere," Alice said.
"What?" Bob asked.
"My teeth! I fell here -- around here, somewhere. The ground is so mushy."
"Is that why we're here? To look for your damn teeth?"
"Yeah." Alice laughed. "What did you think? That I like hiking in swamps at my age?"
"Well, why... what were you doin' here then? When you lost your choppers."
"Uh...well...I had spent some time in the boozy jacuzzi, if you know what I mean. Over at Carl's house. And I got it into my head to take a shortcut home. Bad decision."
"I'll say," said Bob.
"Oh, don't be a throbbing nacho. Help me look."
"I am, I am." Bob scanned the spongy ground between the reeds, wondering what she meant by a throbbing nacho. Nothing good, he assumed.
"Oh, I think I found them," Alice exclaimed. Her hand was submerged in a pool of murky water, and she pulled up a muddy object. "Oh damn," she said. "It's a...a part of a shoe, I think."
Bob rolled his eyes. "The sole of a shoe. You lost your teeth and found your soul, ha ha."
"Somebody's soul." She wiped the thing on her jacket and then put it in her pocket. Bob couldn't imagine why. "I think your teeth are gone," he said. "It's getting dark. Let's go back."
"I suppose so," she said, sadly. "I wanted to eat an apple, that's all."
"You can cut it up," said Bob.
"Applesauce," said Alice. "Only applesauce now."
"Your bark always was worse than your bite anyway," said Bob. "Whoa!"
Alice stumbled and fell flat. Bob helped her up. She was wet and dirty, and she started to cry. For a moment, Bob thought the tears, combined with her toothless mouth, made her look like a baby. "We'll try again tomorrow," he said. "They're here somewhere."

~~~

Hmm. Apologies. Another writing exercise, I'm afraid. I coughed up the phrase "swamp dentures" (along with "throbbing nacho" and a couple of other gems), and then excreted this off the top of my coconut in a few minutes. It's kind of Faulknerish, I think -- like Faulkner on a really bad day.