Twitter Litter

I'm on Twitter, but I often can't squeeze the exciting exploits of my fascinating existence, or the myriad profundities that come to me, into such a tiny space. Yet my scores of followers await further pearls of perspicacity from me. I may have to resort to the Twitter Status Generator, so I can satisfy them with such bulletins as these:

Abundantly giddy and dreaming of sitcoms.
Aggressively apprehensive and wishing I had more caviar.
Groovily bushwacked and getting over abject pity.
Assuredly sleepy and down with brisket.
Painfully chilled and giving it up for work/life balance.
Sportingly evasive and strategizing the point of existence.
Happily evil and ruminatin' about comfy blankets.

Strangely enough, even though none of those dispatches flowed from my personal experience, none of them would precisely be a lie, either.