Head Rattle

I.
Somebody today made me promise to be a Philadelphia Phillies fan, which apparently involves signing up at some website, if they win the next... Superbowl? I agreed, just to be amiable, because I really don't care. At first I thought he was asking me to sign up for the team, and I was, like, "huh?"

II.
I don't like those men's rooms where you never touch anything except.... What I mean is, I don't like all the hand waving you have to do to make the soap squirter and faucet and paper-tower dispenser work, as if you have magic telekinetic powers. And that hurricane-force "air blade" hand dryer that sounds like a jet engine at full throtle is just disconcerting. It's all about avoiding germs, I suppose, but you still have to pull the door handle when you leave, right?