Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Search Party

Here are a few recent search queries that brought seekers to this temple of scribomania.

computer generated imagery heaven

Heaven, if it exists, is a state, not a place, so how could there be an image of it, 'puter-generated or otherwise? Still, our limited brains conjure up images, whether we want them to or not, whenever something is named. It probably looks like a fractal then, if you insist. Okay, with angels.

kristin baybars ostrobogulous

I do hope this is someone's actual name. I want to live in an amusing world that contains a Kristin Baybars Ostrobogulous, whom I picture as someone like that conceptual artist played by Julianne Moore in The Big Lebowski, who famously said, "Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey." I wish I had the guts to go around saying "don't be fatuous" to people.

eyelids twisting

This sounds painful. It also sounds like something you would do when your eyes or your contacts dry out but you don't have any drops and you want to make yourself cry a little.

rather hell with ourselves than heaven without

What's all this heaven and hell pursual? Heaven without what? "Ourselves"? That would imply a loss (or transcendence) of the ego, which is nirvana, equivalent to heaven in the West, is it not? You'd rather live in hell with yourself (or rather, your pathetic little self) than to lose self and become ONE with the cosmic bliss cloud? What is wrong with you?


This is a psychological disorder in which a human being believes himself/herself to be a bovine -- that is, a cow (or maybe a bull, if you're a dude). I've never met anyone who suffers from this affliction, but if I did, I'd invite, uh, Elsie over and serve her a hamburger and a milkshake, just to see what would happen.

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